Shiny but underneath all the glitz is NOTHING

by Miss X


It's too late once one figures out the person they fell in love with is mentally ill.

He love bombed me, called me his world, said I was all he had...claimed he couldn't live without me....

He expected me to support him financially because he was such an impulsive buyer, then became angry with me because I told him no.

I am a grown woman, successful, liked by most and very loving. No one has ever said such horrible things to me... called me such horrific names, or caused me to question my worth like he has.

One must educate themselves on these robotic beings. Because I'm an optimist, I honestly thought my love would affect him in a way that would amend him.

I was terribly wrong.

I've tried to end things with him on several occasions, but he always finds a way to worm his way back. He must have a harem too.... I discovered all the different people he gets validation from on his cell phone, which he protected like a large diamond.

Little did I know he doesn't care what age, nationality, size, or even gender that validation comes from. He is a sick individual and I pray for him daily.

Surviving his abuse isn't a piece of cake and I will likely suffer his waves for years to come. His love I received from time to time was purely intoxicating, but if I don't cut all contact, he is going to extract even my heartbeat.

To all of you out there suffering alongside me, get help and forge on.

Comments for Shiny but underneath all the glitz is NOTHING

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Jun 06, 2016
 Yes, by the time we realize it - it's too late.
by: Jed at Narcissists Bite

Hi Miss X,

Thanks so much for sharing your story here.

I think the title you chose for your submission is spot on - certainly reflects my experiences in a relationship with a narc. Lot's of glitz... lots happening on the surface - but no core. Nothing REAL.

Like you said, narcissists are GIFTED in bringing out the very worst in people. They'll target your weaknesses like a heat seeking missile - without pause or remorse. They'll bring you face to face with insecurities or fears - something we all have.

Narcissists don't know how to play 'nice' - unless we're talking about the beginning of the relationship (or selective periods thereafter) where it serves their egocentric desires and goals to be 'nice' to you.

That 'intoxicating love' you got to feel sometimes - that's what threatens to pull you back in - time and again.

I, too, thought that love would conquer all.

But with narcissists it just doesn't; not by a long shot.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NDP) is deeply entrenched. It becomes the core - or essence - of the person who has it. Can you take away or transform a person at the core? They'll never let you.

The sooner that realization dawns, the sooner you can initiate no-contact, and stick to it for good this time.

A personal realization I've come to is that there are really only two ways (as a non-professional) to 'help' a narcissist...

1) Allow them to feed on you - to extract the narcissistic supply they so desperately need.

2) Send them a clear and undeniable message that you won't be fed on - that you will no longer be prey. No contact is the best way to send such a message, simply because it can't be argued or reasoned with. It's factual. Present. Undeniable. It's silent, but speaks volumes.

It's the only thing that gets through to a narcissist - and then, only if you don't falter or waver.

Yes, the narcissist will move on to the next target of opportunity. But at least you've let them know that YOU have better things to do then to provide them their unholy sustenance. As you well know, they'll suck you dry, as the alternative - heartbeat and all!

If you're looking for support on your journey I highly recommend Melanie Tonia Evan's New Life Newsletter.

It's free of charge and jam packed with life-affirming insights on how to survive narcissistic abuse and come out on top - all from a woman who's been to hell and back and lived to tell the tale. Her writings have certainly been a powerful and timely gift on my own journey.

Thanks again for dropping by and sharing your story of the narcissist's BITE, so that others may be more aware and take better care.

Jed

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