It's absolutely true - it's stranger than fiction

by London
(Oxford)

My experience began 2 years ago. I met him online... I'd joined a dating site and he was the only man I ended up meeting up with after being on the site for a week.

It was ok, he was good looking and appeared keen. He made all the right moves and we ended up in bed pretty soon after.

After 5 months he cut me off, he called to discard me over the phone, just like that out of the blue.

I noticed he was still online but changed his status to seeking friends only. I guessed he had found an 'upgrade', but I was ok just hurt about the discard & excuses given.

He occasionally sent cryptic texts and nonsense like that.

6 months later I was hoovered back in. Clever stuff.

All was going along well when a second discard happened, he wanted the other girlfriend again.
I was very upset as, according to him, she was crazy, etc.

It happened again 6 months later, this time the mask was off almost immediately. I was frightened of him, frightened to upset him or question him in any way. His children were around this behavior which didn't make sense, I protected them from their Dad.

The final (narcissistic) rage was planned for a party which I was obliged to attend with him. I've never been raped but I felt raped. I was physically sick & frozen by fear. The level of cruelty is impossible to put into words. I escaped when I could without a word.

He then pretended he was too busy with work to call me. I was happy with the space and began researching this topic for my own closure.

He was with a new supply a month later. After 6 months with her he began hoovering me again, he has used insults, sweet little endearments, kisses, insults, smart comments, sexual flattery, insults and so on.

He betrayed me more than once, and he is currently betraying his latest supply.

I'm not reacting or feeding this manipulation because he is very dangerous. I hope I never see or know of him again.

Like clockwork he is popping up every 6 months, despite being highly sought after (in his head) by all of us bit**es (as he calls us).

Comments for It's absolutely true - it's stranger than fiction

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Feb 12, 2017
 Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your comments, I'm very happily free..
The hoovering is still sporadic, he has a partner which affords me a fear free life. He did frighten me, the final rage was surreal I was frozen inside & physically sick.
I know when he breaks up with each new target what to expect & so far he has been predicable, all of the descriptions of this disorder are templates which they don't deviate from.
In truth Mine is psychopath, he can disassociate from his rages & be surprised if you bring them up. He accidentally mentioned this gymnastic once, then he brushed it aside when i asked a question.
He can't care it's pathological, he didn't lose control, previously I thought rage was a 'hit headed' tantrum. Psychopathic rage is unique they are in control & enjoy their work victimising you. It's eerie, freaky to witness.
Jun 10, 2016
 'Soft Souls'
by: Jed at NB

Hi X,

Yes, the sensitivity or instinct narcissists seem to have - attacking or getting back in touch exactly when you're at your most vulnerable - is a predatory trait.

Narcissists and other human predators possess predatory instincts. Their specialty is zeroing in on vulnerability - attacking the soft 'underbelly' if you will.

This is part of what makes narcissistic attacks so shocking, not to mention vicious. An unwritten rule in the animal kingdom is that when an animal shows it's underbelly - it's vulnerability - the other animal refrains from attack. Since there's no longer any threat, a continued attack isn't necessary. Balance or harmony has been restored - which is usually the unspoken 'goal'.

Within a predatory paradigm, however, things are very different - since the purpose isn't to restore harmony/balance, but to feed instead. Under these circumstances, showing your underbelly or vulnerability just makes you an easy target - highly inviting and irresistible to a narcissist.

Anyone who has been on the receiving end of a narcissistic rage knows this terrible feeling - to be attacked under a predator-prey scenario - which is highly abnormal behavior between fellow human beings.

That's why it's received as such a shock to your system.

If they had fangs and went for your jugular you'd at least see it coming. But they of course don't and you won't.

Sorry to hear you've been dealing with narcissistic 'crazy making' for 4 years now. It's definitely time to break the cycle and it's good to hear you're taking steps towards that.

Be strong - soft soul or not. ;-)

The truth of the matter is that strong and hard souls fall victim to narcissistic abuse just as soft souls may. As previously mentioned, narcissists target vulnerability. Once they find that vulnerability - they've found the soft spot to attack.

And everyone has their soft spots - it's only human.

Ironically, that's exactly what narcissists and other human predators feed on - our humanity. As incredible as it seems that's exactly what comes under attack.
Jun 07, 2016
 Sorry
by: X

I am so sorry he continues to rear his ugly head... like clockwork. It's like you heal some, then BAM!!!! They come right back to pour salt in your wound. I swear they have sensors that tell them when to attack us again.

I've been in my situation for 4 years now... and I'm emotionally drained because of it. I've done everything in baby steps. First I deleted email addresses, now I am about to get a new cell number. This is the most horrible experience I've ever endured, but I know it is for all of us soft souls😔.
May 21, 2016
 Betrayal after betrayal - a signature trait of human predators
by: Jed from NB

Hello there,

I'm glad to hear that you mustered the courage to leave this obviously toxic and abusive relationship and seek your own closure.

Looking for closure from a narc is a sure way to stay hooked and to keep the abuse going - a narcissist's dream come true.

So good for you for having the wherewithal to put an end to the madness.

You pointed out the repeated betrayals which is a signature sign of a human predator's BITE.

Torment through betrayal is one of the main ways narcissists get their kicks. Not so fun for those on the receiving end of it to be sure!

However, knowing that betrayal by a narcissist is pretty much inevitable can help mitigate the pain.

They'll violate your trust, your confidence, your values, your moral decency. They'll betray you to serve their own pathological needs.

Their disordered soul demands it.

It's easy to take betrayal personally, yet when it comes to pathologically narcissistic people, it has nothing to do with you.

I think you came to clearly see that.

Thanks again for sharing your story here - shedding light on what a narcissist is going to do.

Jed

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