Daughter of a narcissistic mother

by Becca
(Florida )

I am a daughter of a narcissistic mother, of the worst kind. I just turned 51 years old, on October 17,2015.

My eyes are no longer "wide shut"...

It was at my daughter's wedding that my eyes were finally opened to my narcissistic mother - and all that I could never understand was validated by a guest to the wedding. This person pointed out what I could never see.

It then hit me ... I realized the weeks leading up to my daughter's wedding ... my mother was prepping and preparing me to be emotionally bankrupt, to ensure that I could not make it through the entire celebration, and I didn't.

This realization devastated me. I was dumbfounded by the heartlessness and evilness of my own mother - a woman I held so near and dear and loved so very much. A woman I thought "always" had my best interests at heart.

The realization that she never has was absolutely devastating to me.

I have suffered unimaginable abuse - emotional and physical in some of the worst ways possible. It's too fresh and too painful for me to go into details here today.

I just wish I had someone to help me heal, then I could tell my story in detail.

This subject (narcissistic abuse) has become near and dear to me and extremely important to get my story out.

I think narcissism should be on the front line of mental health.

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You will be strong and you will heal!
by: Anonymous

Thank you for sharing. Until I accidentally found out what Narcississm was, and then that a mother would treat a devoted daughter with unbridled evil intentionally, was actually, quite liberating. However, I attempted No Contact since I was quite young about 16. I moved from my family home at 17. I just figured that my mother and I did not get along, and I knew she was extremely toxic to me my entire life. Her bullying, jealousy, improper morals (she chose Pornography as a career choice)..lack of protecting me at all levels and negating any and all respect to me. I had enough!! When the title and the checklist of this kind of mother was discovered by me, a specific incident happened and I grabbed that opportunity to go No Contact from age 50 until I pass away. Did it hurt, Omg yes. But it was necessary to grow my soul and reflect and create boundaries, it is so validating! She slept with my first love, stole my inheritance, came between my siblings. Be strong soul sister. Honor your path, it will clear a way to peace you cannot imagine. Love yourself and be your own light. No contact since November 2012, 6+ Years. It took 34 + years, my health, physically, mentally, spiritually has vastly improved with setbacks and wins. I never gave up on me. Consciously, something a counselor told me began my brave path. Mourn the mother you thought you had -very profound- that was where I turned the corner. You can too, your angst will subside but you may seek support, specifically as a daughter of a Narcississtic mother. Many counselors do not deal with it because it’s incurable. It’s a specialty but it will save a lot of time, your time, your healing, your important life.Take care.

My Role Model
by: Anonymous

I too am a daughter of a narcissistic mother. Growing up in a single parent home, I looked up to my mother because she was wise and devoted to keeping her family afloat. It wasn't easy, some days she was sick and couldn't miss work, but she went out into the world each day and provided for us.

Well that was one side of her.

Then there was the other side who I watched rip the other females within our home to shreds. She was dominant, they were her servants. If things were going too well, she had to shake the house up.

I would see tears flowing, anger flying . . . and she would cause all of this. It would hurt me because my aunts and grandmother wouldn't even have a clue what it was all about. She'd accuse, she'd twist things. She'd even try to turn them against each other.

My aunts soon married off. My grandmother and I were the only two females within the home. I knew I didn't like this side of my mother. She'd cause conflict. One minute you were the apple of her eye and the next she hated you.

I never realized I'd been abused until I was a woman with children of my own. I watched my mother try to control everything; even my significant other. She'd cause conflict within our relationship in the slyest ways. She caused conflict between my eldest child and myself by brainwashing him with gifts when he chose not to follow rules at home.

I don't know what makes her tick the way she does. But when I began to realize how ill I was becoming being around her, that's when I realized I had been scarred for over 30 years from her psychological abuse. People on the outside wouldn't even believe she is this kind of person. She will twist things to the point where people will think that the innocent is the villain.

I was always the child that tried to support my mother because I watched how she struggled to take care of us, but the one who cared was the one who was abused. I was never good enough but good enough when she needs me.

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